


You forgot your shadow

by Stylinsontimes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bottom Louis, Come Swallowing, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Riding, Rimming, Sex Talk, Simultaneous Orgasm, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-19 00:09:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1448098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stylinsontimes/pseuds/Stylinsontimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“When a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung.” Harry sang to Louis as he flipped the tiny boy and hovered over him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>“Oh who is using shameless lyrics now? Plus, pervert you.” Louis said hooking his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry just grinned and swooped low so that his lips were just a breath away from Louis’.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>“Well I do wish to put your waist and round thing to good use tonight baby.” Harry whispered low, deep and sultry and a shiver rolled down Louis’ body to his toes.</em><br/><em>“You are a troublemaker eh love?” Louis managed before Harry had decided on less talking and more trouble making.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>An AU where Harry and Louis have the habit of quoting lyrics at odd places and most of all during making deep love but when Louis is moving away to America, away from his Harry, any lyrics Harry can think of are of pain and sorrow until he meets him again, 4 years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You forgot your shadow

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Sam Tsui- Shadow and all the other songs belong to their artists.  
> I just want you guys to like this maybe and tell me about it?

Moonlight filtered in through the billowing blue curtains casting soft changing shapes and lines across the littered room and over the love struck boys. It fell on the two boys currently laying side by side, soaking in love and in each other.

“Lou, have I ever told you that your eyes remind me of the moon light coming in through our curtains.” Harry asked looking deep into the eyes of the boy curled into his side.

“Every night since first time, Harold. Honestly, like a broken record you are.” Louis rolled his eyes which Harry couldn't see but Harry bit his bottom lip in glee because Louis could never really hide his pretty blush.

Harry Styles, 18 and Louis Tomlinson, 20 met during their time in University and fell in love with each other pretty much the second they saw each other but the relationship came in later, much more later.

“Imagine if I hadn’t said yes to at all. How empty would your life be?” Louis poked at Harry whose face suddenly morphed into that of doubt and pain. Noticing this Louis ran his finger on Harry’s lower lip. Harry had always been inviting and loving and even thought he had been scared of getting his heart broken, he had never been scared enough to not try. He had loved Louis enough for both of them since the very beginning but Louis had come with his fair share of baggage made of bad decisions,break ups and worse screw ups.

Louis scooted closer to Harry and pushed away a lock of curly hair from his boyfriend’s eyes. He saw the pain in his emerald eyes still lingering which he had inflicted all that time ago. He had been difficult about love and rejected Harry at every turn possible, too scared to lose the one relationship he held closest to his heart. Harry's unwavering friendship.

"Imagine if I hadn't pursued you though?" Harry asked instead, composing himself and smiling softly.

“I would have been so lonely without just a little of you, a little bit of me, a lot less them and a lot more we, just a little more us tonight” Louis said smiling into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Using lyrics are we now, you unimaginative twat?” Harry quipped without any bite in it and Louis laughed. Harry pinched Louis bum and made him gasp silently.

“Your intentions don’t seem pure tonight, Haz. What do you plan to do with my virtue?” Louis cocked an eyebrow at Harry clearly inviting.

“When a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung.” Harry sang to Louis as he flipped the tiny boy and hovered over him.

“Oh who is using shameless lyrics now? Plus, pervert you.” Louis said hooking his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry just grinned and swooped low so that his lips were just a breath away from Louis’.

“Well I do wish to put your waist and round thing to good use tonight baby.” Harry whispered low, deep and sultry and a shiver rolled down Louis’ body to his toes.

“You are a troublemaker, eh love?” Louis managed before Harry decided on less talking and more trouble making.

Harry’s lips moved with the soul mission of explore and to claim, with calm yet with a purpose. He kissed Louis deep into the mattress and savoured and licked into the tiny whimpers that escaped his lips. Louis was heaven bound as he had always loved Harry’s lips best after his eyes and curls. They were soft and lush and Louis was sure they were specifically manufactured to lay waste to Louis’ sanity.

So it wasn’t really his fault that his back arched into Harry and grinded on him to bring his attention to his very own tight problem.

Harry’s lips slipped and slid with the forming saliva but he continued to ravish Louis, his hands supporting his torso hooking Louis’ delicate waist. When Harry nipped Louis lower lip, gaining access and simultaneously rolling his hips low and deliciously, Louis let out a little cry and broke the kiss for air. He looked up dazed into the green eyes of his lover and admired him for his beauty and the apparent innocence in his eyes despite of the so not innocent deed they were performing right now.

Harry’s eyes looked dark, only a ring green illumined in the moonlight, his lips were swollen and bitten red. He looked at Louis like he was going to fuck him good tonight and Louis spread his thighs a little in anticipation.

“You are beautiful baby. You are my moon, its shine, my everything.” Harry whispered as he bit lightly on Louis’ neck, licking on the tan skin.

“You mean to say, I’m your moonshine?” Louis whispered, humour evident in his voice and Harry sank his teeth a little to reprimand him for his behaviour, Louis stilled all at once and moaned loudly.

“Take me apart, Hazza. Only you can do this. Touch me. Claim me.” Louis’ voice has gone hoarse and he felt decidedly hotter now. Harry ran the tip of his nose along Louis jaw and grazed the stubble with his teeth before sucking on the skin.

Once Harry was certain that Louis has descended into the lustful phase of 'please just fuck me', his big hands began trailing light from Louis’ chest to his abs and finally touched Louis’ hard dick. Barely fluttered his fingers over it but Louis’ back arched again as he began breathing hard through his mouth.

“Tease!” Louis complained, his eyes blown wide and Harry licked his lips, excited by the prospect of ruining the boy under him, slowly and thoroughly.

He placed another kiss on Louis’ lips before he began peppering his neck and chest with more kisses and once he reached his nipples, two things happened. Harry flicked his tongue over Louis pert nipple and squeezed Louis erection, taking all of it in his hand.

Louis’ eyes flew open and he keened wildly, his fringe falling on his eyes. Harry moved up to gently push away the fringe from his forehead and snogged him thoroughly before pushing away to focus to what he loves to call ‘Little Louis.’

“Hell, my precious.” Harry said eyeing Louis dick with delight but before Louis could even make a comment or so much as breath, Harry had swallowed whole of him at once.

Louis thought back of all the other guys he had been with before and reflected how this felt even more than full sex with any of them. “ _Harry, my god._ ” Louis moaned as he squirmed to bury his face in the pillow.

Harry moved back a little so that just the tip of Louis' cock was in his mouth and sucked it like a lollypop, with care and intent. He kitten licked it and sucked at it again and to his delight he saw Louis’ control was getting shredded before his eyes.

Harry held the base of Louis cock with his hand to prevent him from coming too soon and took him in his mouth again. He shifted himself and Louis such that Louis could tilt his head and look at Harry’s lips stretched over his thick purple cock. Harry eyelashes were damp as they brushed against Louis’ length and his nose was buried in pubic hair. Louis felt his eyes zero on Harry’s lips.

“You are so obscene Haz.” Louis mumbled.

“Good thing you are all scenic then.” Harry winked at Louis withdrawing from him and blowing air over the tip of his cock. Louis shuddered again, his scoff over Harry’s comment promptly stuck in his throat.

Harry went back to deep throating Louis with fervent energy but this time he began blowing over his shaft and Louis gasped before biting his lower lip hard.

“You are so big, so delicious Lou. No wonder there were so many boys after you. You are just so gorgeous.” Harry said licking the thick vein under Louis’ dick that brought the tiny boy to the teetering edge embarrassingly fast .

“And here I was thinking it was my milkshake instead.” Louis said in all the humour he could manage with his broken voice.

Harry smirked and ran his tongue tantalisingly over his lips.

“Your milkshake is all mine, Lou.” Harry whispered before taking all of Louis in and grazing his teeth over the foreskin.

Louis bit his lip with enough force to taste a little blood before collapsing back on the bed as his orgasm claimed him suddenly and took him by surprise, his eyes shut tight as riding his high. Harry pulled back a little before Louis fully emptied his load so that it dripped down his lips to his chin and he swallowed the rest.

He placed a kiss on Louis dick before moving to Louis and kissing him; Louis licked at his own come on Harry’s soft skin and already felt his dick twitch with anticipation.

Harry kitten licked Louis’ lips and gently bit on it with every angle. His elbow supporting his weight while his left hand held onto Louis’ tiny waist. From this angle Louis could feel Harry erection roaring and wet from precum but when he tried to hold Harry’s dick, it was promptly swatted away.

“Tonight, I just want to come inside of you my baby.” Harry grinned as he licked along Louis neck and bit at the junction of his neck and shoulder gently.

Louis smiled despite himself as he held onto Harry’s chocolate curls and brought his face up to look into his eyes.

He looked into Harry’s crystal green eyes, illumined in the moonlight and felt his heart flutter. He carded his fingers through his curls and Harry nuzzled into the touch.

There was not a day Louis did not regret all the hard time Harry had faced because of him. He had been rude just to drive him away and not face his own fears. Louis had always been scared of someone breaking his heart and leaving him shattered in their wake but Harry’s love had been too hard to resist and Louis had felt himself pulled towards Harry’s embrace. Even today he was insecure of himself and of not being enough of Harry. His wonderful, adorable and lovely Harry.

“I love you Harry. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Louis said his voice thick with emotion which he usually tried his best to conceal but it slipped occasionally just for Harry.

Harry’s face softened and he smiled the way Louis loved best. Shy and sweet.

Harry’s placed a chaste kiss on Louis’ lips before moving his hand to place on Louis’ little tummy that he knew Louis was insecure of.

“I love you to death baby. I can’t imagine living without you. You are everything I have ever wanted out of life. It’s like you and I are meant to be” Harry said his cheeks red and eyes bright.

“So what I gather is you’re saying is that you belong with me?” Louis chuckled lightly and Harry groaned and tried to roll away from Louis.

“Taylor Swift! Mention of her on the bed where we are making love! I shall have none of it!”

Louis grabbed hold of Harry’s bulging biceps and brought him back to him and positioned the grumpy boy over himself.

“My perfect hipster.” Louis smiled and kissed the edge of Harry’s pout and felt it give way to his deep dimple. Louis licked it.

Harry rolled his hips down on Louis rapidly inflating dick and his hand pinched Louis’ curvaceous bum cheek.

Louis had always been embarrassingly turned on when Harry was involved but after all this time he knew that Harry just found this very endearing.

“So hard for me my darling.” Harry’s deft fingers found his way to Louis’ hole and his finger flitted over the ring and Louis inhaled sharply his eyelids falling close.

Harry pressed kisses on Louis nipples before moving down to place his face near Louis clenching hole.

He hooked Louis right leg and placed it over his shoulder and tilted his head to rub his nose along Louis strong thighs. Harry had always harboured a weak point for Louis’ firm thighs, he bit into them before licking and sucking a bruise carefully so that Louis dick twitched visibly and Harry grinned.

His left hand rubbed soft circle on Louis’ left thigh as he placed a neat row of bruises on his right one. Once satisfied, he let his fingers fondle his tight balls and nuzzled his nose near Louis pink hole.

“You even smell so lovely, Lou. You drive me crazy.” Harry blew air on the ring of muscle and Louis nearly sobbed. “Hazza, I need you. Please do something.” Louis sounded wrecked as it is and Harry marveled at how responsive his lover was.

He licked into the hole once and Louis shuddered and opened his thighs wider, making a high keening noise, grabbing hold of the pillow tighter. Harry looked at the hole and felt saliva pool at his tongue.

He brought some of it on his tongue and licked deeply into Louis hole, thrusting deep and Louis stilled before moaning loudly, pornographically.

“Pretty, pink hole Lou. For me?” Harry whispered reverently and Louis could barely nod.

“I am all for you.” Louis’ voice broke once when Harry decided to flick his tongue again.

“Then come for me love.” Harry touched Louis’ thick dick and tugged twice and aimed it so that the thick white rope shoot over Harry face and neck. Harry touched his face and smiled in delight when he found Louis’ seed there and Louis could never understand how even during these moments can Harry look so perfectly _angelic_.

Harry took some of the come on his hand and held onto the left side Louis’ neck before placing kisses on the right side of his neck and kissing over the purple lovebites he had left earlier.

Louis’ hair was damp with sweat and so were the sheets. He was blissfully sated already but he knew that the final round was yet to come and he groaned when his dick already started filling.

Harry kissed Louis as he explored inside his mouth and Louis could taste himself after being eaten out. He would definitely reconsider every time he'd been with a guy now, thank you very much. Harry had placed both of his hands on Louis’ waist which curved over the bed sheet because his of his ample hips.

“Lou, can you prepare yourself for me? So that I can watch?” Harry asked firmly yet gently that Louis felt the urge to just put Harry’s dick into himself and fuck himself senseless but tonight he’d put show. He loved a little play.

Louis nodded vehemently and Harry moved back from Louis to sit back and he finally touched his own neglected dick, hissing at the feeling. He pumped himself slowly and watched Louis with hooded eyes.

“Louis maintained eye contact with Harry as he dribbled some lube on his fingers and put his thick finger inside himself and paused as he felt his head sway at the feeling.”

He took a calming breath before looking back at Harry who was watching him like a predator.

Louis felt in his element now.

“Oh, oh, uh, oh. I love to have something inside me, filling me, pulling me apart. Oh how I love something thrusting deep inside of me, long and wet with come.” He never broke eye contact with Harry when he put his second finger inside and began scissoring himself.

“I love preparing myself for you Harry. I know you are so big, you’ll put you’re your dick inside me and come inside me and I need to be ready for that, stretch for you.” Louis’ voice was becoming raspier as he felt his orgasm building.

Harry was pumping himself faster now, little gasps escaping from his mouth.

“I want you inside me Harry. I want your big cock, your pretty pretty long dick.” Louis had put his third finger in and the odd angle was already hurting him but he dare not stop until Harry said so.

He was at his breaking point and he needed Harry so much.

“Hazza, I need you.” He begged and was instantly awarded with Harry’s hand pushing Louis’ aching hand aside and placing his own dick over Louis’ hole. Louis almost cried in relief, he also noticed that Harry had already lubed himself up.

Harry took a deep breath before plunging himself deep into Louis at one go and Louis groaned at the delicious stretch and the pain that was Harry.

“So damn tight, Lou.” Harry’s curls were damp and falling over his eyes as he placed his hands over Louis’ hips to steady himself. He moved out completely before thrusting back again, hilt deep and Louis gulped.

Harry continued his thrusts inside Louis and the room was filled with Louis high _ung ung ung_.

Just when Louis was sure he’d orgasm, Harry pulled back and took deep heaving breaths to calm himself.

“Ride me, Lou.” Harry said before lifting Louis up and sitting back on his haunches. He placed Louis’ back against his own chest so that Louis was sitting on Harry’s lap. Harry put his dick inside Louis at this position and Louis gasped loudly because Harry’s dick was hitting the prostrate directly. He took some seconds to adjust before he lifted himself a little and plunged back over Harry’s dick.

He continued this for a while, using his thighs to raise himself and then slide down again, Harry had to bite his lip to control any errant movements from himself but when Louis whimpered with need Harry snapped and began thrusting his hips and pushing deep into Louis.

Louis tilted his head back as his back arched so that his head rested against Harry’s shoulder and he hooked his hands behind Harry’s neck, which stretched his tiny body deliciously. Harry kissed Louis jaw lightly all the while pumping him harder, pulling him apart surely and completely. Harry placed his hand on Louis’ dick and felt his mouth salivate again at the thought of them pressing into his mouth and gagging him and its salty taste and he bit on Louis earlobe before twisting Louis’ dick.

Louis screamed Harry’s name as he came the third time in the night. His back arched magnificently and Harry gave two final thrusts before he was coming for the first time that night and shooting his load inside Louis. It took Harry a minute to finally ride his high and he collapsed back into the bed with Louis in tow.

They lay near each other panting, sticky and satisfied, happy with each other and their love.

“That was incredible my love.” Louis whispered with sleep already weighing him down.

“I am happy that you aren’t blue daba dee daba dye anymore.” Harry laughed softly as he kissed Louis’ hair and Louis just ducked his head into Harry’s neck and let sleep claim him.

* * *

Louis had always wished to become a famous journalist someday and his love for speaking was nothing no one was aware of.

He loved to be able to interact with people and most of all he _loved_ stating his opinions openly and a chance on a public platform was like a cherry on the damn truffle cake.

So when he was called into the office of his publishing head, he expected some good news to come from the last assignment he had put his heart and soul into. It was an American publishing house with a branch in Britain.

“Ah Louis, please sit.” Ben Winston smiled at Louis who smiled back happily. He really liked Ben, he was a genuine person and a chilled out boss.

“Hello bossie! What mischief is afoot?” Louis grinned and Ben rolled his eyes fondly.

“I actually have a great news for you Louis which is also some kind of a bad news too.” Ben said carefully and Louis felt a little apprehensive, his grin leaving instantly.

“Tell me” Louis asked weaving his fingers together over the table.

“Your project was a phenomenal success Louis. Our heads loved it so much that they literally begged me to make you join them by hook or by crook.” Ben said and Louis felt his jaw drop. Was it for _real_?

He was actually getting a job at his dream place? Was this happening? Louis still looked at Ben in disbelief. This had to be a joke.

“This has to be a joke.” Louis blurted out and Ben laughed.

“Well I have the punch line then.” Ben said a little more seriously now and Louis recalled the second part of the news.

“Hit me with the bad news then.” Louis said bracing himself for anything that could come up but upon hearing Ben’s words he felt his resolve, his heart and his soul crumble at once.

“You’ll have to move to New York, Louis. You have two weeks.”

* * *

 He told his mum and cried over it in silence but he could not find the courage to face Harry.

“Baby, are you alright? Did you have a bad day?” Harry asked in concern while he cooked lasagne for them. He wore a red and white striped apron and it was something that took away another chip of Louis’ already breaking heart. Harry found Louis unusually silent most of the times and anytime he did smile, it was forced and it looked he’d end up crying anytime. Harry knew never to push Louis about things but he was getting worried now.

Harry tried not to stare at Louis so as to give him a chance to deny if he so wished.

“Hazza?” Louis called his name and Harry turned around so fast that he cricked his neck.

Louis was sobbing into his hands, his soft shoulders rising and falling in grief.

Harry was next to Louis in no time and had enveloped the boy in a hug.

“My baby Boo! What is wrong? What happened?” Harry said in his honey slow voice and Louis broke down into ugly tears staining Harry’s shirt who simply held onto him tighter and kissed on Louis’ cheek and carded through Louis’ hair. After a while Louis did seem to control himself a bit and Harry drew back to look into Louis baby blue eyes.

“Tell me love.” Harry urged.

Louis felt fear grip his heart and his throat constrict with the fear of losing his Harry. He knew he wasn’t build to try long distance but he’d try if Harry asked him too, if Harry promised to work with him.

“I got a permanent job from my publishing house.” Louis mumbled and he saw a myriad of emotions flit on Harry’s face. Happiness, excitement and confusion at the possible sad news in this.

“And I’ll have to move to America by the end of this week.” Louis said not meeting Harry’s eyes but he felt Harry still, his breath stop.

He looked up and saw Harry suspended in shock and disbelief, his eyes not quite focused.

“Haz?” Louis whispered and Harry finally looked up at Louis’ eyes and smiled a little as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Congratulations baby. It has always been your dream job yeah?” Harry said trying his best to sound genuinely happy for Louis.

Louis frowned a little at Harry; Louis had expected a different reaction to be honest. He had hoped Harry would hold onto Louis and beg him to not go, to hold him tight and shield him from the world. Try and keep Louis with him. He had not expected Harry to be so _easy_ about this.

“Yeah it is.” Louis whispered trying not to meet Harry’s eyes. Harry got up suddenly and moved towards the lasagne and busied himself with the cooking.

“Well then the night deserved a better meal yeah?” Harry said merrily and Louis frowned openly now. Harry did not care at all did he? He didn’t even try once! He sucked in a breath and furiously wiped at the wetness in his eyes. He could be weak.

“Yeah.” Louis managed somehow.

* * *

 Ben had handed him over the final package for his moving over to America, it also contained a boarding pass for 11 am next day.  

He glared at it like it has personally offended him but he jerked back to his senses when Ben cleared his throat.

“You are sure right Louis? This is an incredible big move and in such a short notice.”

Louis scrunched his eyebrows looking for the perfect response. What he could he even tell Ben, that his boyfriend didn’t even try and stop him once? That it seemed to have no effect whatsoever and that he had been planning and helping Louis pack for the last week.

He grimaced before composing his face into a smile. “This means so much to m, Ben. I can never really thank you enough.”

And probably Ben took the wetness in his eyes as emotions about his new job because the next moment he was being pulled into a tight hug and he close his eyes tight to avoid breaking down on his boss’ shoulder.

“You are meant for greatness, Louis. You can do this.”

When Louis was running away from the office he collided into someone and send them sprawling on the footpath in a mass if blonde and limbs.

“Louis, mate! Calm yo tit!” Niall said from the ground laughing at his own expense.

Louis rushed to pick his friend up and brushed the dust off him with his hand.

“Been crazy busy bud, flight tomorrow.” Louis muttered distractedly.

“Tea with me?” Niall asked earnestly and Louis simply nodded. As their order was placed in front of him, Niall seemed to be scrutinising Louis and Louis’ suspicions were confirmed when Niall spoke next.

“So what is the trouble with Harry?” Niall asked simply needing no bullshit but the truth. Louis’ eyes snapped to Niall’s who was looking at him from over his teacup, his eyebrows raised.

“Harry doesn’t want me Niall. He is happy to let me go.” Louis mumbled. Niall sighed with all the patience he’d show for a 5 year old and placed his tea cup down.

“Did the twat say this or your twattish brain make this up?” Niall asked calmly and Louis felt anger flare inside of him. How can Niall act so cool and calm over this?

“It’s not you fucking heart on the line, Niall. You wouldn’t know!” Louis snapped.

“Well of course I don’t know the exact feeling but I have seen you assholes together and I can tell that the shit is love and I’ll be damned if I let you give up on it without a fight.” Niall said with so much emotion that Louis slumped back on his chair all his fight lost from him, replaced by his raring insecurities.

“He didn’t try once to stop me Niall, he was all happy and ready for me to shift. What do I make of that?” Louis’ felt his throat tighten again, he was getting embarrassingly teary eyed lately.

“Maybe that is because he is the best boyfriend you can have you blind pig. He knows it has been your dream even before became a part of your life and he’d never let you let go of that just to be with him. He is the perfect little shit and you know him long enough to know he can’t even breathe without you.” Niall finished with the roll of his eyes, chastising Louis.

Louis smiled bashfully, his hands cupping his tea cup.

“You think I should talk to him?” Louis asked.

The blond boy scoffed and looked at Louis like he was a retarded manic who did not deserve to be outside of an asylum and Louis felt himself grin for first time in two weeks.

* * *

Louis walked in through the door and looked at the mostly bare apartment. All of his possessions were now packed into giant bags and the rest of the things had been sent over to Doncaster to his mother as it was no use cluttering their apartment anymore. _Their,_ for the last day now. He could easily see the soot along the edges of the photo frames and felt his heart sink.

“Hazza?”

Harry laid down the magazine he was reading before moving over to Louis and enveloping him in a hug and placed his forehead on Louis’.

“Baby” He whispered into the air between them. Kissing Louis deep before pulling back.

“Harry, I got my boarding ticket today. I leave at 11 tomorrow.” Louis whispered and he felt Harry’s hold tighten but he said nothing at all. Louis had decided on his way over that if Harry asked him to, even once, he’d drop the job and just stay with him. He knew he'd never find a love like Harry's and he was willing to choose love over dreams.

“I will miss you so much, Lou” Harry’s lips moved over Louis’ and Louis bit down on his bottom lip hard, holding back a sob. His fear rose up again to claw at his windpipe and strangling him.

“You will be okay when I leave?” Louis asked in a broken voice and that is when he felt that Harry’s cheeks were damn too.

“Yes, Lou. Your dream matters to me most.” Harry smiled a little and Louis felt himself go on an autopilot of rage.

“Why don’t you just say that you don’t _want_ me anymore?” Louis said running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“That is why you are so okay with this? You are glad I’ll leave aren’t you?” Louis near screamed.

“Lou?” Harry looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his green eyes wide with disbelief.

“You know I am not good enough for you. You are glad I am leaving right?”

“Lou babe, no-” Harry began stepping towards Louis but he just stepped back from Harry’s outstretched hands.

“Just leave Harry. I don’t want to see your face.” Louis said coldly while his inside was burning in sorrow, consuming him.

“Baby, listen to me. You are getting it all wrong!” Harry tried.

“OUT HARRY!” Louis screamed and Harry’s hands dropped in defeat as he took a good look at his precious Louis.

“I love you, Lou” Harry whispered before making his way out of the door, he stopped once and looked around the apartment and his tiny Louis standing lost. His eyes had a good look at him not even aware that this would be the last time he’d look at his baby in their apartment. He left with a sigh and Louis collapsed on his knees and lay on the cold floor racking with tears.

* * *

“Get up, Harry! Why aren’t you at the airport yet?” Nick shook Harry awake who was sprawled on Nick’s sofa. Harry had stumbled in Nick’s apartment dead drunk and mumbling Louis’ name and crashing on the first surface he saw. Harry looked at his watch and it displayed a time of around 9:30 am.

“Lou’s flight is in the night, Nick.” Harry grumbled but Nick merely looked alarmed and part amused.

“His flight is 11 in the morning babe. I guess you need my car now?” Nick being a perfect bastard chuckled lightly and moved towards his keys as he heard Harry stumble off his sofa and curse loudly.

Harry drove like a madman, breaking all the traffic rules he could possible break without running over some poor citizen. He parked at a no parking and flung himself over the door. His hair was in a wild disarray and so was his heartbeat. He was going to miss Louis ad he’d never forgive himself if that happened. He was infamous for his coordination on his best days but running full speed he was meant to stumble once and twice. He skidded and collided into people who glared at him but he pushed through till he was at the departures and he looked around frantically clutching at the stitch in his chest.

He tried calling Louis but it was switched off and he clutched at his hair and turned a full frantic circle in search of the person he’d come to love and know and cherish with all his love.

It was then he saw Louis and he was handing over his pass in the counter and he blinked away the tears that were falling freely.

He was looking at his mother and smiling softly, his blue eyes rimmed with red.

“Louis!” Harry screamed at the top of his voice and Louis looked up to meet to his eyes, Louis had feared Harry will not come.

Harry made to move towards Louis but he just held up his hand to stop Harry. He had thought this through, he can never love Harry the way he’d want. He can never survive the torture that’s be to love Harry and not be able to see his smile and kiss those smiling lips. he had decided he’ll always be in love with Harry but just be masochistic enough to survive alone.

He smiled at Harry to tell him that there were no hard feelings and he blew him a flying kiss before turning and leaving through the door.

Harry turned and ran blindly towards the car and drove to the park where he and Louis would often go to. He got out of the car and sat down near the rear type, holding his head in his head and rocking in his sorrow. He wept and screamed and hit his head back against the metal of the car until he was exhausted and he had slipped into a comatose and finally fallen asleep. He was woken up by the incessant calling in his pocket and he saw various missed calls from Nick. He just switched off the phone when another car parked near him and he saw Zayn and Liam making their way out of Zayn’s fancy Mercedes.

“I swore to Nick that you have not plunged yourself and his precious car into the sea and I came here to prove myself right.” Zayn said as he crouched to look at the mess of his best friend.

“Zayn, Lou is gone.” Harry managed and his head swam with the effort, he felt like fainting.

Zayn looked sad now as he picked the tall boy up and deposited him in his own car while Liam drove the car back to Nick’s and Zayn drove him over to his own flat.

Harry came back to his own apartment two days later and found Louis’ keys under the welcome mat. He removed his paper plane necklace and slipped the key into the chain so that Louis’ possession of the house and Harry’s soul remained near his heart.

He looked at the apartment and smiled sadly as he could easily see Louis in the places he had claimed for himself. The chair by the window and the right side of the sofa, how he’d fight for the remote and how he’d sit on the kitchen counter swinging his legs while Harry cooked.

He laughed as a tear rolled down his cheek when he saw the chip on the wooden door where he’d thrown the plate while they were playing Frisbee with fine china and his fingers ran over the etchings in the dining table where Louis had wielded a fork and written his and Harry’s name together.

He was amazed that even when Louis was no more in the house, his stuff packed and gone. He could literally feel the little boy standing behind him, waiting to be pulled into a hug. Even when there was nothing left of Louis to remind Harry of him, he found him everywhere, in every corner and every shadow falling on the empty walls.

Even when Louis had taken it all, he’d forgotten his shadow in this place.

 

**_ 4 years later  _ **

Harry adjusted his head band in the mirror as Liam slapped a rolled up magazine on his ass.

“Just _move_ Haz! You are taking forever!” Liam scowled and Harry just laughed as he turned and dipped Liam to place a kiss on his cheek.

“Hey! Hands off my boyfriend you turd!” Zayn eyed them from the bed and Harry poked his tongue at Zayn as Liam blushed red. It was cute how even two years of being together, they were so insanely in love.

Liam and Zayn had promised him a surprise and like any 22 old he was excited like a 5 year old.

“Why don’t you tell me where you are taking me? Are you trying to kick me out of this apartment?” Harry pointed his finger at his roommates and Zayn smiled wickedly.

“My plan really.” Liam elbowed him in the stomach before snogging him thoroughly to say sorry. Harry made retching noises as he stepped out the door.

He was blindfolded once Liam and Zayn reached the door.

“Never knew you guys were into kinks” Harry mused and he was promptly hit over the head.

“I will remove the blindfold now, Hazza. Please do not freak okay?” Liam asked tentatively as he touched Harry’s back.

“Okayyyyy.”

As the cloth was off, he took a hasty step back from what he saw. It was his old apartment door, where he had lived with his life and love, his Louis. He opened his mouth to shout or maybe to cry but then he saw Niall leading Louis up the stairs in a similar blindfolded condition.

Harry sucked in a breath and bit his lip as Louis’ blindfold was removed and his blue eyes blinked in the sudden sunlight.

He looked the door of his apartment and then at Harry and he gasped before he turned to leave but was stopped by an adamant Niall in the way.

“You have suffered long enough, Tommo.” Niall said and handed him a key as Zayn handed Harry an identical one.

The three boys left without a word and Harry felt slightly faint. Louis looked up at Harry and he saw, a gorgeous man with tumbling curls and hard planes and lovely green eyes. He saw a more mature Harry. His Harry.

Harry saw the same crystal blue eyes and the same thin, perfect lips but long gone was Louis’ soft hair sweeping his forehead replaced by a tumble of hair down to his neck, carelessly styled and long enough to rival that of Harry’s. He was looking at Louis hungrily and Louis was obviously reciprocating.

Neither of them said anything as they sat down on the new bedspread. The boys had put efforts into making it partially habitable.

Louis took Harry’s hand into his own and traced his knuckles with his finger.

“How are you babe?” Louis asked.

“Still in love.” Harry said not thinking about what Louis might tell him, not worried that he might have moved on, not thinking that his heart will get crushed again.

Louis removed his shoes before climbing on the bed and kneeling on his knees. He took Harry’s face in his hands and tilted him and placed his lips on Harry’s and kissed him.

Harry gasped in surprise as he withdrew and looked into Louis’ eyes.

“I could never not be in love with you.” Louis whispered and Harry clasped his hand around Louis’ still tiny waist and pulled him impossibly closer, kissing him hungrily.

Louis placed his hands on Harry’s broad chest and withdrew a little.

“Do you love me still?” Louis asked sounding scared.

“Well, I am unusual, not so typical, way to be smart to be waiting around you know?” Harry shrugged carelessly but when he saw Louis’ eyes widen in fear, he sighed and pushed Louis into the mattress as he began stripping him.

“How can I not love you? Not love my life? Not love the only thing I care about in my life.” Harry said mapping Louis skin with his hands and his tongue, biting Louis and sucking bruises into him.

“I love you Harry.” Louis moaned as Harry grinded against Louis’ erection.

“Hey Lou, were you at the payphone, trying to call me, spending all of your change?” Harry asked easily slipping back to his old habit.

“I was spending away my life without you baby.” Louis smiled cupping Harry’s arse cheeks and rubbing his way to his thighs.

Harry pressed deeper into Louis and slipped his pants off him.

He took ‘Little Louis’ in his hand and tugged at it fast and with purpose.

“Will you come for me, Lou?” Harry asked, twisting his wrist like it was programmed into him.

Louis shuddered through his orgasm and saw stars behind his eyelids. His back arched off the bed like he knew drove Harry crazy and clutched at Harry’s hair and pulled hard.

He made Harry come face to face to him and kissed him before biting down gently.

“Settle down with me, cover me up, cuddle me in.” Louis whispered into Harry’s lips unwilling to let Harry go now having found him.

“I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that I can share with you” Harry sang under his breath and a lone tear rolled down Louis’ cheek.

“I love you Hazza.”

“I love you more, Boo.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come hither and talk to me!  
> [Hazzalouisstylinson](http://hazzalouisstylinson.tumblr.com/)


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